Man! I Feel Like A Woman!
by MissMar-vell
Summary: What would happen if the Nyotalia universe unexpectedly and magically decided to crash a world meeting from the  regular Hetalia Universe? Warnings:Yaoi,Yuri,Het,suggestive themes,crack,and bitchiness abound! Human & Nation names used
1. Intro

A/N: To avoid confusion, when I say a country like America I'm speaking of Alfred, when I say Female America I'm speaking about Emily, unless I'm talking about Hungary, Belgium, Taiwan, Liechtenstein, or any other girl nation then their country name will mean them and Male Hungary will signal that I'm talking about Gary. Both human and nation names are used. Nyotalia nation names thus far are as follows:

Female America=Emily, Female England=Alice, Female France=Francoise, Female Prussia=Maria, Female Germany=Louise, Female Japan=Sakura, Male Hungary=Gary, Spain=Carmen

The names were taken from what I think most of the fan base agrees on for their Nyotalia names, if you disagree post a review and I'll see what I can do. I also need help finding out the Nyotalia names for Russia, China, Taiwan, Austria, Both N. and S. Italy, Spain (Carmen?), Poland, All Baltics, Ukraine, Belarus, Kumajiro, and the Nordics. All will make appearances and have chapters dedicated solely to them or their group of characters (like the Nordic 5). Thanks! Also I'm completely open to suggestions on things you might want to see happen in the story and I only speak English fluently. Feel free to correct any mistakes in other languages.

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><p>No one was quite sure how it happened. All that anyone noticed was that Arthur was hungover, and while this wasn't necessarily shocking, the fact that he came to a world meeting in such a state had surprised most nations who knew how he tried to pretend to be a gentlemen most the time. Francis had used the situation to prove that Arthur wasn't as proper as he liked to pretend, and most other nations blamed America. Alfred for his part just liked teasing Arthur in his depressing state, which only served to slowly make Arthur more agitated and cause his headache to worsen.<p>

From there it was a snowball effect. Arthur snapped and smacked Alfred in the head tired of the other male poking him in the back with his pencil and offering him cheeseburgers to feel better. Then France had yelled at the both of them for arguing in meeting, which caused Arthur to try and argue at both Alfred and Francis, which he was failing at. In a fit of anger he threw an eraser at Alfred, only it was Matthew who Arthur had confused for Alfred, which brought Gilbert into the fight to come to Mattie's defense. Then Ludwig had started yelling at Gilbert demanding to know how he had managed to sneak into the conference room this time. Spain was quick to come to Gilbert's defense, but Roderick and Elizabetta argued in favor of how he shouldn't be in there at all. Then Feliciano had started crying and waving his white flag, because that's just what he did; while Lovino had started yelling at Germany for upsetting his brother, because well… that just what he did too. Things slowly began to digress and by the time Russia had the Baltics shivering in a corner, Germany began yelling trying to restore order no one was listening; and Arthur, poor hungover Arthur, just wanted it to be quiet!

Reaching into his pocket Arthur grabbed his star tipped wand and not really concentrating on any one spell or thought in particular he waved it around wishing they all would just shut up. It was then and only then that it got quite but not because they had suddenly found themselves unable to move their lips, or were suddenly preoccupied and concerned with actually staying on task this meeting but because they suddenly found a person who was shocking similar and dissimilar to themselves on top of their chests sitting on them.

England started up into two pairs of familiar large green eyes behind stylish frames. The woman had her hair in pigtails and was wearing a angel outfit brandishing a wand exactly like his own as a pair of wings protruded from her back. They stayed there for a moment blushing and staring at each other in confusion before both their eyes widened and they began to understand what they had done.

"L'Angleterre!" yelled a frustrated feminine and French accented voice to their left. "What on earth have you done this time!"

Both blond green-eyed Englands began to get up off the floor, Arthur helping his female counterpart. They both stared at the people slowly getting up off the floor staring in wonder and confusion at there alter selves.

"Arthur~!" continued Francis, "what have you done with your magic now? While I don't particularly mind you making beautiful women-" here a high pitched 'honhonhon' was heard, "magically appear. It is slightly creeping moi out to see myself as a girl!"

"Umm well you see-" Arthur and the Female England began, quickly jumping apart as they both said the exact same thing at the same time.

"It was his/her fault!" They glared at each other.

"Obviously s/he doesn't know how to control their-" a moment of silence before they faced each other with deadly intent.

"STOP COPYING ME!" they both yelled.

"So cute!" yelled a short haired blonde as she flew across the room and glomped Arthur, squishing his head in her ample breasts.

"Emily! What have I told you about being lady like! It's not proper to simply-" whatever the female England was about to say got lost on it's way out her mouth as she stared at the blond haired blue eyed male in a bomber jacket. A bright red tint began to stain her cheeks as she fidgeted and began to dig her toes into the ground in embarrassment.

"Umm, I...I have to...I'll be back!" she screeched before making an abrupt about-face and running out of the room.

Alfred tilted his head to the side in confusion much like a dog, "What did I do?"

"Don't worry about it dude!" said the female America, Emily, as she detached herself from the struggling Arthur and went over to stand next to Alfred "you simply shocked her with your epic heroicness! Happens to me all the time. Besides, she doesn't like wearing that outfit in public, says it gives France perverted ideas."

"Oui! One can not help getting such ideas if Alice insists on wearing such short skirts!" said a slender women with dirty blonde hair tied back in a bun, her French manicure nails resting lightly on her cheek.

"Whatever Francoise just leave my girl alone!"

"Ahh, so you and Alice are admitting your feelings of l'amour finally! It is about time!"

"What? No! Don't put words in my mouth."

"Ahh! Gilbert help!" yelled Matthew as everyone's attention was diverted to Canada, or for most present the quite blond guy who looked a lot like America. Apparently Gilbert's female counterpart had taken it upon herself to try and invade his vital regions. Gilbert was sitting in the background laughing his ass off, as a shadow of a blonde girl in pigtails with a red barrette and maple leaf patterned dress tried in vain to yell at her and get her to stop.

"Don't worry! The hero will save you!" yelled Alfred and Emily as they dashed across the room. They were too slow however for before they could even make it half way a tall male with soft brown eyes came over and picked her up, forcing her to detach herself from Canada. He had long brown hair tied back in a short ponytail and a flower in his hair. Behind him was Elizaveta with a frying pan in her hand looking a bit confused as to weather it was okay to hit Prussia's counterpart with it like she did Gilbert. The situation appeared resolved but the long haired albino began biting the man's arms causing him drop her and let loose a string of profanities.

"Kesese! You can't contain the awesome Gary!"

"Maria get back here! Why must you always be causing drama? Schwester! Behave!" yelled a short haired blonde women wearing a skirt suit looking very professional.

A short female with brown wavy hair tied back in a ponytail peeked out from behind her shoulder.

"Ve~I'm hungry Louise, can we get pasta?"

And that's how chaos part 2 began. Halfway through Alice returned with out her wings, angel outfit and wand. Francoise immediately began questioning her over the status of her "special relationship" with Emily. Inevitably this caused France to begin making fun of Arthur and Alfred, though the latter couldn't exactly tell what it was they were getting picked on for as he epically failed at reading the atmosphere. Meanwhile Mathew and Gilbert began fighting off Maria, as once Gilbert began to realize Maria was being serious he began to intervene and protect his "birdie". All the while a small Canadian girl stood off to the side and tried her best not to look sad as she hugged her polar bear friend Kuma-something-or-anoter, who had a red ribbon attached to her ear to match Female Canada.

"Who are you?" the bear asked.

Instinctively both Matthew and the shadow yelled, "I'm Canada!"

The all out battle royal-debate-hunt came to a halt though as the sound of very loud crying was heard. Half the room immediately came to an abrupt halt in fear while the other half carried on in a slightly more subdued manner.

"Why is everyone fighting!" cried out a tall ashy blonde women in a pink skirt suit and scarf. She held a shovel behind her back. "I don't like it when everyone fights!" Russia stood behind her awkwardly patting her back in a strange form of comfort. A tall blond man dressed as a butler pulled a knife from his sleeve and stared at Ivan threateningly.

"Please everyone stop fighting." she said, her voice slowly becoming more haunted as everyone began to stare at her with a mix of fear, bewilderment, and caution. "It is silly to fight." she said as she wiped the alligator tears from her cheeks, "After all, in the end you all become one with Mother Russia anyway, da?"

The collective cries of "Kolkolkolkolkol" that bounced off the walls began to silence everyone, several of the Baltics both male and female had fainted.

A petite Asian girl with buns on both sides of her face and long exaggerated sleeves on her mandarin collar dress began to cautiously approach the crazy woman. China was behind her trying to prevent her from intervening by pulling her back, but the small woman proved to be quite strong as she was begian to drag him with her.

Directly beside them was another smaller Asian woman dressed in white with a bob hair cut and ribbon in her hair. She placed her hand over a katana that was by her side, ready to draw it at any moment. Kiku stood off to the side not nearly as interested in the situation and staying out of their way. Yao could do whatever he wanted, thought Kiku, he was a grown man and could therefore take care of himself.

Everyone watched in shock as the female China embraced the female Russia in a strong hold and began quietly singing a Russian lullaby. Slowly the female Russia began to calm down. Yao stared in complete astonishment of his alter self, while Russia was to busy staring at Yao and frowning at his reaction.

A cough brought everyone's attention back to the center of the table where Louise, the Female Germany, stood looking out into the group, " I think that now would be an appropriate time to try and direct people's attention to more productive matters, like trying to figure out what happened and how to fix it."

"Ja, I agree" said Ludwig taking a seat next to Louis, "I believe we all will agree to granting England, or well, the Englands floor time first as they seem to be the only ones who would be able to explain this situation. Their will be no interruptions, please hold all questions till the end of the presentation and they must be relevant to the matter at hand, no follow ups allowed so everyone has a chance to speak."  
>Louise nodded her head in agreement and slowly the nations began taking their seats again, many dragging extra chairs in from adjacent rooms to accommodate the additional bodies now present.<p>

Alice and Arthur stood and shared a look before Arthur began speaking, "Well umm, it would appear that somehow alternate universe versions of ourselves have appeared in our world due to the simultaneous casting of similar spells by me and my alter self. I was trying to get everyone to shut up because you all were giving me a bloody headache!"

Alice stepped forward a hand behind her head as she inelegantly scratched her neck, "I was, um...I mean Britannia Angel she was just trying to. She wanted..."

"Mon cher, don't beat around the bush. You were using your silly magic to try and make a certain short haired blonde fall in love with you again weren't you?" replied Francoise as she sat filling her nails.

"No I wasn't you Pillock!"

"Just admit it l'Angleterre . You obviously-"

"NIEN! No interruptions, and no questions till the end of the presentation!" yelled Louise as she stood and pointed an accusatory finger at Francoise.

Alice cleared her throat to fill the silence, "As I was saying, Britannia Angel, I mean myself… I just wanted us all to stop fighting. I know we all get into tussles and rifts every now and then. After all, their are a bunch of us and most of us, at least in my universe are girls. We should be getting along with each other not fighting over silly things, we should all be each others sisters and look out for each not talk behind each others backs and gossip. I just thought maybe we could all learn to get along." Here her eyes got misty. "Maybe we should all try to think of this as a vacation really! It will be fun and until Arthur and I figure out how to get us all back where we belong we're kind of stuck here anyway. " Alice forced herself to laugh and try to lighten the mood, not wanting everyone (or at least the ½ of the group she knew) to be mad at her.

"The floor is open for questioning now," yelled Ludwig from his seat.

Several hands were raised immediately.

"Ladies first" Arthur said as he let Alice pick the first question.

"Carmen."

A tall seductive brunette that had her red heels on the table stood up. "Not that I am opposed to the idea of a vacation _amiga_, but I was wondering where exactly we are going to stay."

Arthur answered the question for Alice, "As most of us would feel more comfortable with our opposite gender counter part we should stay with each other, plus with any luck our worlds are a lot more similar than we think and we might actually live in the same places and houses. I'm sure you all would love to stay in a somewhat familiar environment for the time being."

Arthur picked the next question.

"Japan."

"I am not opposed to showing hospitality to our alter selves, I was simply wondering how long we should be expecting them to stay with us. How long till you think you'll be able to find out how to fix things?"

Alice and Arthur both shrugged their shoulders unable to answer, "Hopefully sooner rather then later." said Alice.

"We should have it figured out by the meeting next month most likely." continued Arthur, "Norway and umm other female Norway. If you wanted to help it would be appreciated. The sooner we get this all figured out the better off we all are I suppose."

Both Norways responded with a curt nod not bothering to reply vocally.

"Awesome! If that's all the questions I say we break for dinner because I'm starving!" replied the bubbly blonde seated next to America, they high-fived in agreement.

"Meeting adjourned!," yelled Ludwig and Louise together.

Quickly the nations began grabbing their things and introducing themselves to their alternate selves and friends of both worlds.

"Hey! Hey! Iggy! Canada offered up his place for dinner since you know we're already here in Toronto. He's inviting Francis too though, but still it should be fun! It'll be like old times!"

"Yeah Alice" replied the shorter blonde as she bounced on her feet. "You should totally come!"

"Who invited us over?" asked Alice

"Canada, you know the male version of Madison. My sister. The country we're currently in!" Emily explained.

"O yes of course, I just momentarily forgot. Busy day and all that you know." Alice lied clearly having forgotten Canada was a country.

"Yeah so anyway you coming?" asked Alfred

"I suppose. It would be rude to turn down an invitation." replied Arthur for them, Alice nodded in agreement.

"Yay!" screamed Emily as she skipped on over to Francis and Francoise who were talking to Matthew while Madison preoccupied herself with her phone. Alfred, Arthur, and Alice followed behind her.

Canada smiled, happy to for once be the center of attention. "Everybody ready? We can take a couple cabs back to my place."

"Yep!" said Emily as she clung to his arm. "Maddie you make the cutest boy!"

"Erm thanks I think?" replied Maddie as she held her polar bear friend.

On their way out they passed Ludwig, Gilbert, Feliciano, Lovino, and their female selves. Apparently the Italys had convinced everyone to find somewhere Italian to dine at.

"Just a sec guys." Matthew told them as he turned and yelled over at Gilbert. "Hey Herr Awesome! If you want to come over later for dessert your more then welcome to. I'll wait up for you!"

Gilbert smiled as Matthew walked over, "What kind of dessert are we talking about here Birdie? The edible kind or" he leaned in and kissed Matthew, "the _edible_ kind.

"Pervert." said Matt as he gently shoved Gilbert in annoyance and smiled. "See you later Gil." He leaned in and quickly kissed Gilbert good-bye before turning to leave.

Francis began preaching about puppy love and the power of passion as he rejoined the group. Matt just smiled as he joined his Papa and they left.

"Hurry up Madison!" yelled Emily as they made there way out. Maddie had stayed behind and was gazing off at Maria who shared a look with her before rolling her eyes in annoyance and turning around and leaving to go bug both Austrias and Hungarys.

_'If my other self and Maria's other self can get along so well with a public and monogamous relationship why can't Maria and I?_' Maddie's thought. Her thought process was cut short however, as a hand grabbed hers.

Matthew smiled and joked, "Come on it's getting late and my brother and your sister are getting grouchy from starvation." Matthew's hands wiped a tear from her cheek she wasn't even aware she had shed, "Tell you what. I'll have Gilbert bring his other self along tonight."

"No it's okay." whispered Maddie as she let Matthew lead her out the building, "She wouldn't want to spend time with me anyway."

Matthew frowned at the others lack of confidence but didn't make a comment. They made there way out front silently; Matthew holding Madison's hand in support and Madison grasping on to him as if he were her anchor.

"Frog! Keep your hands to yourself!", yelled Arthur from inside the cab as Francis and his grabby hands joined him.

"Now now Arthur it's not nice to call the French frogs." Said Alice a she joined them in the back and Francoise took the front seat. Francis and Arthur looked at her in shock while Francoise checked her reflection in a hand mirror and rolled her eyes having heard the line 100 times.

Alice smirked as she buckled her seat belt and said to Arthur, "It's unfair to amphibians to compare them to the French."

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><p>And that's chapter 1! I'm already working on chapter 2 and optimistically it should be up in a day or two, but realistically I probably won't have time to post it till next Monday night; though, reviews help me write quicker because they let me know people are interested in the story besides myself!<p>

Also I know some characters may have come off as a bit bitchy/ditsy/catty/vain/depressing but it was intentional. All will be explained Also the idea that if all the females wouldn't get along so well all the time comes from having lived in a sorority house. I've seen girls lie to keep best friends alone and single like themselves, steal people's boyfriends, cheat with a friend's boyfriend, lie to someone's face and then talk about them behind their back, and a bunch of other drama. But, at the end of the day we're all sisters so we forgive and learn to get along. That's the message I'm going for in the story. You know the whole script from the movie "Mean Girls" something like that, but the boys have a thing or two to learn too that will be reviled later!

Sorry for all the grammar mistakes. If it bothers you that much you can offer to be my beta :)

R&R Please!


	2. Ophelia by Natalie Merchant

A/N: Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! For not updating sooner!

Also forgive my lack of knowledge of foreign languages. I speak English, and Spanish (really more Spanglish than anything), and am studying Chinese. By no accounts do I consider myself fluent in anything other then English, so feel free to correct anything you want!

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><p>"…and Ophelia was the sweetheart to a nation over night<p>

Curvaceous thighs, Vivacious eyes

Love was at first sight…"

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><p>The drive to Matthew's house was quiet and uneventful.<p>

When they arrived and everyone got comfortable, Matthew and Francoise immediately went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Francis opted to open a bottle of wine instead and entertain everyone in the sitting room while they waited. Apparently too many chiefs in the kitchen was bad, but really he just wanted to get to know the girls better.

"Mon lapin!" exclaimed Francis as he handed a glass to Alice, "have a glass of wine, in fact have several! So long as I get to see you in that cute little bunny outfit Francoise was telling me about; I promise I won't even care if your behavior gets a little dirty."

Alice slapped his hands away from her backside as she took the glass and sat down on a love seat next to Arthur. "Frog! Keep your hands to yourself! If I wanted slime and filth all over myself I'd clean the gutters, which is exactly where your mind is you pervert."

"Mon cherie," said Francis as he fell back into a chair clutching his heart, "such words wound me so, they should not be coming from such a pretty mouth."

"Wait so your telling me-" Emily exclaimed with wide eyes staring at Arthur, Alfred was whispering something into her ear. She immediately jumped up and grabbed Arthur's hands bouncing up and down. "You have to show me! You have to show me!"

"I beg your pardon, but what exactly is it that I have to show you?" he asked Emily as he stared at Alfred who was having trouble controlling his laughter.

"Your waiter outfit! Alfred said you always end up wearing it when you get too drunk at the bars like Alice and her bunny outfit! I want to see it!"

"Alfred you wanker!"

"What? You know it's true dude, you totally can't hold your alcohol at all."

"I don't end up wearing that ridiculous outfit all the time, it just sort of happens…but that's besides the point! You don't go telling just anybody things like that!"

"But Emily isn't just anybody; she's like me, but with boobs!"

"Still, she's a lady!"

"Really do you mean that Arthur?" asked Emily with big hopeful baby blue eyes. She was still holding on to one of his hands. _Why did Female America have to be so touchy?_ Thought Arthur. _O well, I'll just blame Francoise latter for being a bad influence. _

"Of course dear." He said as he patted her head, unable to say no to her.

Her eyes began to water and for a moment Arthur was afraid he had made her sad, but she tackled him to the ground and began hugging him.

"Your so nice! You're way better then Alice!"

Alice just rolled her eyes and let them carrying on rolling around on the floor, or rather leave Arthur to continue trying to escape Emily's vice grip.

"So what are these?" asked a voice to her left, Alice turned to have America poke at her glasses.

"Mine are Texas, and no one's allowed to touch them but me, because nobody messes with Texas!" he proudly exclaimed, "But what are yours? Arthur doesn't wear any glasses."

"Yes well I suppose not everything can be the same in both worlds, anyway my glasses are Oxford."

"Like the school?"

Alice rolled her eyes, "Not quite. They're Oxford as in the city and county town of Oxfordshire, but yes the main attraction in the area is Oxford University. Once I started going to university and reading a lot my eye sight started getting worse and well, that's how I got Oxford, my glasses."

"That's cool! So you went to all those schools and stuff when they opened."

Alice got a sad smile on her face, "No, not really. I didn't attend Oxford till 1920."

"Woah! Why'd you wait so long to go to school if you like reading and all that stuff?"

The room got really quite, including Emily who stopped trying to molest Arthur and instead settled for sitting on top of him, nesting her head against his neck as if trying not to think about something she didn't want to spend time on. Arthur sat up on the floor against the coach, Emily in his lap, before saying, "They didn't let you in until 1920 even though you're a nation?"

"I may be a nation, but I'm still a woman. I got to study at Lady Margaret Hall in 1878, and really I didn't need to study at Oxford in 1920, I could have actually taught there if I wanted, but it was the principle of the matter. Women weren't allowed in until 1920 and I had a statement to make." Francis, Alfred, and Arthur looked at Alice in confusion.

A small voice spoke up from next to Francis, "Depending on who our bosses are, they choose to acknowledge which view of us they like best."

"What do you mean Maddie?" asked Alfred.

"If we have a forward thinking liberal boss, or even a woman as our boss, usually we have more freedom. Private tutors, special privileges, things like that; but if we have a more traditional and idealistic leader we tend to have to represent a certain image or evocation of our country like-

"Britania-" said Alice

"or Columbia" whispered Emily from Arthur's neck.

Maddie nodded her head in agreement before continuing, "- but especially during times of war, it's easier for people to think of us as nations and not as women. It's easier to send us out to fight then."

"It was easier to convince people to let us fight if we kept driving that point home too." spoke up Emily from Arthur's sweater her words muffled.

"Yes and sometimes that still wasn't enough. I really wanted to fight during WWII but they wouldn't let me," said Alice.

Emily immediately looked up catching Alice's eyes; she knew how much Alice hated talking about this.

"They used the fact that I had less then perfect eyesight to keep me from flying. They told me it would be too dangerous." Here she took Alfred's glasses off his face, he let her. "Could you imagine if someone told you that you couldn't fly a plane because Texas was a part of the United States? Too me they were saying, I couldn't fly a plane because Oxford was part of the UK. It made no sense, but the middle of a war is no time to argue with your government over something as petty as letting you fly a plane or fight on the front lines. So I let them pick what I was allowed to do, and I made sure I was the best damn nurse on the front lines in WWII." she smirked as she placed Texas back on Alfred, "I actually knew more then most doctors since I had just graduated from medical school and was able to apply what I knew in combat situations from having served in other past wars."

"What about you?" asked Alfred of Emily in a panic, unable to imagine any version of himself not behind a plane.

"O I made sure I was flying planes. Part of the reason I was able to push the government to go ahead and form W.A.S.P. was because it was a female unit and the Axis powers wouldn't view female pilots aiding England as declaring war on them, so really I was fighting in WWII since September of 1941. Of course W.A.S.P. was just for non-combat operations but if Maddie and I somehow made it into a combat situation, pure accident of course, we made sure to fly better then all the men and take down more planes then any man, right Maddie!"

Maddie smiled as if remembering a happy memory, "We were the Twin Terrors of WWII, no one could stop us. Eventually the military just turned a blind eye and let us fly with the guys during strategic bombings. I preferred much more subtle operations though, like sniping. I was the best sniper of WWII, probably still am. Anyways, it was awesome, and if anything happened to us Alice was there making sure we could fly again in no time."

"Why were they so against you all going to war?" asked France.

"You all were alive for the arguments about why women shouldn't be in the military. I'm sure-" spoke Alice.

"No I mean to fight for yourselves as nations."

Alice paused for a minute before responding in as delicate a manner as possible, "We can't die, we all know this, not unless our countries disappear and people begin to forget us. We're stronger then normal humans, some more then others," here she glanced at Emily and Alfred," we have the capability to inspire and motivate soldiers if they fight on the same battlefield with us increasing their moral. All these things we all know, but I wonder if you all completely understand what it means to be a girl…"

Alice paused momentarily, drinking from her glass of wine. She stared at Emily still sitting on Arthur's lap her head resting on his chest, his hand protectively around her.

"Arthur, if America in your world had been Emily would you have treated America, the colony differently, would you have treated Emily different then you treated Alfred?"

"I can't say I-"

"Be honest, Arthur." Snapped Alice.

"Yes, I would have treated her different. I wouldn't have let her go, she wouldn't have been ready to-"

"To what? She had all the same experiences, the same desire for independence, the same capability to take care of herself and help build her new country."

Arthur was quick to justify his rationalization, "They would have exploited her! She could have easily been married off to gain a strong ally that they would desperately need as a new country, she'd be forced into situations she wasn't ready for, wouldn't be able to handle, as a colony-"

"we would have been able to protect her from the harsher and darker aspects of being your own nation." Alice finished for him, "you're not being completely honest, why else? The main reason that seems so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things."

"I-" Arthur paused trying to find the way to say what he want to, "I wouldn't have trusted others, specifically France and Prussia, not to…take advantage of her when she went asking for help when she wouldn't have been as strong as she is now. Those two were with Alfred all the time during….his rebellion, and everyone knows their reputations. If he had been a girl…" he left the rest unsaid.

"-and there you have it. The fundamental difference between men and women."

"I still don't get it. " said Alfred.

"Let's put it this way." Said Emily, "How different would you treat Canada if she was your little sister instead of your little brother?"

Alfred's eyes got really big before he ran over and pulled Maddie into a hug yelling, "Don't worry, big brother's here. He'll protect you from the evil, after all I'm the hero!"

Emily laughed at her sister's discomfort, as a hand came and smacked Alfred on top of the head. Matthew was standing near by in an apron with an oven mitt on his hand, "Leave her alone, eh? I'm sure she doesn't want you crowding all over her."

Alfred turned instead and jumped his brother knocking him to the ground. "Mattie thank you! Thank you! Thank you, for not having a vagina! I don't want to have to protect you from the evil advances of questionable Prussians forever."

"What are you talking about? I thought you were over your I-hate-Prussia-because he's-stealing-my-brother phase?"

"No! Not that, if you were a girl could you imagine what Prussia would do to you?"

Matthew raised an eyebrow at his brother's stupidity, "Still love me. He's a guy not a serial rapist Alfred."

"Which brings me to a second point." Said Alice as she finished of her wine, Francis immediately moving to refill her glass.

"Being a girl isn't horrible, it's quite empowering actually. We're just as capable of doing anything a man can the only difference is….how would Francoise say it…A woman's greatest strength is her sexuality-"

"-but her greatest weakness is the ability of lesser men to exploit her sexuality." Said Francoise as she walked elegantly into the room, hips swaying, before taking a seat on Francis' lap and grabbing his wine glass. "it's nice to see you're finally listening to me mon cherie, I had almost given up hope on you." Turning to Francis she whispered without bothering to really lower her voice, "you should have seen her when I found her; a scruffy little girl playing with imaginary fairies and what not. She was a lonely girl on the island, her sister's practically ignored her. Why I remember the first time I taught her how to pluck her eyebrows, we ended up having to use wax though, they were incredibly bushy. You wouldn't believe how thick they were, almost like Arthur's… maybe worse."

Before Alice could stand up to beat Francoise Matthew spoke up, "I'm confused what were you guys talking about?"

"How it's different for girls to be anthropomorphic countries compared to males." Responded Maddie as she placed Kumajira on the floor and let her wonder the house.

"And what did you guys determine was the answer?" continued Matthew.

"Yeah what was the difference? I'm still confused." Said America.

"Basically, men tend to instinctively be protective of women. Whenever our bosses learned about us we ended being some version of a little sister, or a daughter in their eyes. Sometimes, if they loved their country enough, we became their infatuation. Men who feel that strongly towards us and view us in such ways tend to not want to put us in danger, especially because if taken as a POW we face….unique forms of torture by enemies cruel enough to actually abuse….to hurt…ahh this is a depressing topic, we should talk about something else, yes? Besides, dinner is ready and it would be troublesome to let it get cold." Francoise said as she finished off Francis' wine in several gulps and left the room in a much more depressed mood.

"But wait I'm more confused now!" complained America.

"She was simply talking about lesser men taking advantage of a woman's sexuality" said Alice as she stood and helped Emily and Arthur to their feet.

"She doesn't mean..?" Francis couldn't even finish his own question.

Alice spoke next glancing off in the direction Francoise had left, "I want to say that the pigs did it because they didn't realize the person they had captured was a Nation, but even then…their's no excuse for that…sometimes when we live as long as we do…are harder to forget and get over no matter how many years have passed. If you all will excuse me for a moment" Alice took off to find Francoise and make sure she was okay.

Emily got an uncharacteristic serious look on her face for a minute before she quietly spoke, "As far as I know only 15 of us have been captured by enemies during a combat situation in our world. Of those 15, 12 were female, of those 12 seven were…" she faded off unwilling to finish. "It's become a lot less common in modern warfare, the most recent and last was during WWII…god this is depressing, Francoise was actually right for once. Let's change topic."

America didn't have any more questions.

"Well that was unnecessarily depressing." Piped up Maddie with a sad smile. "Let's go eat I'm sure a good meal will liven us all up. We've all faced war situations, let's not dwell on those things when we have such good company around us."

Matthew nodded his head agree with his other self, "Yes let's go eat. Francoise and I worked hard on dinner and I'm sure she'd want us all to enjoy it."

They all shuffled into the dinning room, where Emily quickly began a conversation with Matthew over American vs. Canadian superheroes. They were in a heated argument over Captain America vs. Wolverine when Francoise and Alice joined the table as if nothing had happened. Francoise made herself the center of attention again by picking on Matthew and his "cute" quirks that mimicked Maddie's; like their horrible French accents and the way they blushed when Francoise twirled their hair curl around her finger.

It was all together a very pleasant dinner with excellent food provided by Matthew and Francoise and even better company; that is until the sound of the front door being kicked in with a loud bang flowed to the back of the dinning area.

"All right losers the Awesomeness has arrived with twice the epic power, now bow down bitches! Kesesese!" yelled an all to familiar voice that had Matthew face-palming as a pair of arms embraced him and a tussle of white silver hair began to nuzzle against his neck.

"Hey little Birdie! What's this I hear about the awesomeness of Maple-goodness and how come it was not brought to my knightly attention! I demand answers!" Maddie tried her best to be invisible but it appeared to fail as she was soon tackled by Maria and ended up on the floor in her chair before being assaulted by Maria's lips. When they finally broke apart for air Maddie's hair was a mess and her face was red from lack of oxygen and embarrassment.

Needless to say the night was about to get a lot more eventful.

* * *

><p>"Ophelia's mind went wondering<p>

You'd wonder where she'd gone

Through secret doors down corridors

She'd wonder them alone

All alone…"

* * *

><p>OMAKE!<p>

"Francoise! Francoise! Are you okay?" Alice yelled as she tried to catch up to Female France. Francoise had taken to running aimlessly down hallways trying to collect herself.

Francoise didn't respond to Alice's pleas and instead leaned against the wall and began to collapse.

"Francoise!" Alice yelled as she grabbed the other in her arms and gently led her down to the ground. Alice held her as she cried for a minute before collecting herself.

"I am sorry Alice. Usually I am able to hold myself together a lot better then this, but all the changes that have happened today they must have caught up with me. I simply just wasn't able to speak of _it _in front of the others. What is it of their concern anyway, they won't be in our lives but for a month or so and this is something I normally don't share with people when I first meet them." Francoise said as she leaned on Alice for support.

"Don't try to justify it. Sometimes people just break down. The past is hard to deal with. Don't worry about it." Alice assured her as she petted Francoise's hair.

Francoise dried her eyes on her sleeve as she stood up and offered her hand to Alice.

"You are such a good little sister." She said as she kissed the crown of Alice's forehead.

Alice smiled as she took Francoise's hand and began leading the other down the hall, "Come on I'm sure the others are waiting for us at dinner."

* * *

><p>OMAKE #2!<p>

"So you want me to go where?" asked Maria as she stared at Gilbert from the other side of the table.

Both Austrias, Hungarys, Germanys, North and South Italys had found a nice restaurant to go to for dinner and as the meal was coming to a close Gilbert did his best to try and persuade the other to go with him to Canada's.

"It's just for dessert, and Mattie makes the best Maple Cookies! Maddison had to have made them for you at one point or another; at least she had to have told you about pancakes and real maple syrup. That's as Canadian as Canada gets besides hockey, besides the cookies are almost as awesome as we are! What else did you have planned for tonight that's so important any way?" said Gilbert.

Maria's eyes glanced down the table to Lena who was sitting next to her alter self, the male Austria. She caught the others eyes and made Lena blush causing a smirk to spread across her face.

"I had planned on spending the evening with some company, but I suppose the little birdie's just as good to have fun with. Besides she doesn't care too much if I leave early without explaining. So tell me more about these cookies, and since when did Canada play hockey?"

Gilbert raised an eyebrow at the other's words and actions but didn't question further, it wasn't his place to get in the middle of a triangle of this sort when he had his own awesome and amazing relationship with Matthew to concentrate on.

* * *

><p>OMG that's a lot of dialogue! I feel like this chapter was also a bit more serious then I had previously intended butttttt I'll make it all work out in the end, trust me!<p>

Also when you write a review (which you totally should!) be sure to yell at me to post the next chapter and I'll update quicker. For example:

I 3PONIES says: Omg I like totally love your story, you should totes continue writing and like continuing this story because it's totally amazing! And also UPDATE A LOT QUICKER BEETCH! LIKE SERIOUSLY IT WAS ALMOST A WHOLE MONTH BETWEEN CHAPTERS! THAT'S RIGHT KEEP TYPING YOU LAZY A** HOLE!

….Or something to that effect at least. So yay review!

Also about Oxford here's how my brain works-

Glasses=smart people, smart people=university, and since hetalia=history and Alice=England then historical university in England=oxford, therefore Alices's glasses are Oxford.

Also W.A.S.P was a badass division of the air force created just before WWII to help with the increasing need for soldiers, Google it. It's pretty cool. Also everyone should know by now that Canada has some of the best snipers in the world.

Next Chapter: Who Says? By Selena Gomez focus on PruCan in both universes and their differences.

Long Author's note is long! Bye. Adios. Ciao. Auf Wiedersehen. Zai Jian. Au Revoir. Annyonghi Kaseyo!


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